I visited a small United Methodist church with my mother. I didn’t know a whole lot about this church, except I have known the pastor for years from her work in the community and her reputation as an insightful and good teacher, and her faithful duties as pastor to two churches over probably 20 years.
The Holy Spirit had been telling me to go hear Pastor Connie. Unfortunately, for over 3 years I worked a weekend shift that saw me putting in 12 hour days on Sundays. To be honest, I chose that shift in part so I wouldn’t have to go through the process of finding a place to worship. I was at such a low point in my life that I couldn’t even bring myself to go to church. I didn’t blame God for my troubles. I blamed myself and the decisions I made that thrust me into a dreary and sunless place.
The psychologists would say I was subjecting myself to negative and toxic self-talk. In my conversations with myself I would question my value and whether or not my best days of service were behind me. Was I washed up?
The teachings of two pastors I love have been wooing me back into the Sonlight. For about 6 months, I have felt reconnected to my spiritual side and have been a little kinder to myself about what may have been my own failings, or what frankly might have been Satan’s doings to take me out as a disciple and a worker.
So that takes us to Pastor Barr’s message. She was talking about the disciple Thomas. About his reaction to his friends and colleagues telling him that they had seen the risen Lord after He rose from the dead. The story is found in John 20: 19-29. His response basically was , “I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it!” Then he embellishes his disbelief with the sense of these words, “Unless I see the wounds and touch them and view it with my own eyes, I refuse to believe.” Thomas was telling the very men the Lord had hand-picked to carry the good news of the Gospel into the world, “You guys have no idea what you’re talking about!”Pastor Barr referred to Thomas’s response as ‘belligerent pessimism.’
I thought, “Hey! A description of my spiritual condition!!!” Belligerent pessimism. The willful refusal to accept the grace and mercy of the risen Lord. It was as if the preacher knew I was coming to her church that day!
I felt a kinship with Thomas on Sunday. Thomas didn’t stay long in belligerent pessimism. And Jesus didn’t beat him about the head and shoulders for his doubts and despondency. Jesus basically asked Thomas, “You about ready to get over yourself and get back to doing my business?” Thomas submitted to the Lord. And got back in the game.
I’m not the only modern person suffering from belligerent pessimism. I can’t speak for whether anybody else will choose to “get over themselves” and stay about God’s business. But I can truthfully say that I don’t want to stay there.
We need to quit fighting with one another over our differences in the Christian faith and in politics and civil discourse. It’s ruining our Christian witness. We need to let our words and our actions be about Jesus Christ and the salvation and mercy He wants to bring to a lost and suffering world.
Let’s try Incurable Optimism on for size!
Thoughts From the Garden 